Andile Hlengwa SA

13/02/2023

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06/11/2019

Jesus is Great Bathing... He is the Way , the Truth & Life

15/10/2019

It been a year already... But I still remember it all, the 15th of October 2018.

I remember crying uncontrollable, I remember her tiny body in that tiny coffin...

I will forever miss you baby girl...

Khethelo kumkanikazi Hlengwa may ur soul rest in peace... 😭😭

Daddy loves you may your Soul rest in peace

06/10/2019

From a Good boy to a Thug, then a Low life later Found Grace... 🙌🙌, you bigger Jesus 😭😭

Truly I've seen it all

22/11/2018

Then I saw them

27/10/2018

Le'me share something with ya'll

An elephant and a dog became pregnant at same
time. Three months down the line the dog gave
birth to six puppies. Six months later the dog
was pregnant again, and nine months on it gave
birth to another dozen puppies. The pattern
continued.
On the eighteenth month the dog approached the
elephant questioning, _"Are you sure that you are
pregnant? We became pregnant on the same
date, I have given birth three times to a dozen
puppies and they are now grown to become big
dogs, yet you are still pregnant. Whats going
on?"._
The elephant replied, _"There is something I want
you to understand. What I am carrying is not a
puppy but an elephant. I only give birth to one in
two years. When my baby hits the ground, the
earth feels it. When my baby crosses the road,
human beings stop and watch in admiration,
what I carry draws attention. So what I'm
carrying is mighty and great."._
MORAL
Don't lose faith when you see others receive
answers to their prayers.
Don't be envious of others testimony. If you
haven't received your own blessings, don't
despair. Say to yourself "My time is coming, and
when it hits the surface of the earth, people
shall yield in admiration."
"I know people who graduated from college at 21 and didn't get a salary job until they were 27. I know people who graduated at 25 and already had a salary job. I know people who have children and are single. I know people who are married and had to wait 8-10 years to be parents. I know people who are in a relationship and love someone else. I know people who love each other and aren't together. My point is, everything in life happens according to our time, our clock. You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they are not; they are living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient. You are not falling behind...it's just not your time."

16/10/2018

Day to be remembered

15th of October 2018

A child is meant to bury their parents not the other way around

13/10/2018

How I wish I was there....

I wish.....

I was there when they heard your heart for the first time
The sheer joy and shock of having new life
The hope you brought
The joy

I was there when you would play hide and seek
Running away from my Doppler as I searched
Throughout the pregnancy
Gauging the time
Precious time

We spoke of their hopes for you
Your name, its meaning
How you would look and when you would walk
The lives you would change

I was there when you came
Without the breath of life
Still beautiful, still sacred

I was there with tears of mourning
Dreams now faded
Reality seems blurry
To the life that did not yet live

I thank you
For teaching me to live in every moment
For bringing hope and beauty even
Before you were born

I hope you dance among the stars
The Milky Way, now your table
Your presence still present

Be the comfort that I cannot become
Fill the void that I cannot fill
Bring peace once more to a heart that my sutures cannot mend
Shine on brightly

Baby girl am sorry I couldn't save you

But know that daddy loves you Wherever you are....

Know that there was nothing daddy wouldn't do to save you.

You were but you were still born.

You are a Hlengwa remember that and Hlengwas are no failures, no you also didn't fail it just that God loved you soo much he couldn't let you endure the hardships of this world

I remember that day , me & mama were debating on how you would look, I remember making vows to do all which will make you live a more privileged life.

Heavens couldn't wait for you my princess.

Know you strong for you have put tears in daddy's eyes nobody makes daddy cry....

You will be for ever remembered....

When you reach where you going and they ask you who are you tell them "I Am Khethelo Kumkanikazi Hlengwa, Daughter of Andile Hlengwa"

I couldn't even hold you in my arms , just once hle, but maybe it was for the best

Am left with a void & endless questions to what we could have been....

I love you baby girl, Daddy is a sinner I might not be allowed to enter where you are when my time comes, But do tell God am sorry do tell him babe....

Hope you feel the warmth of my love in this cold rainy night.

I love you, I wish I was there when they felt your first heart beat,

I wish I was there when your Mama encountered sleepless wonderful nights because you wanted her attention.

I wish I was there baby girl.

Daddy loves you and I always will.

When I heard you were no more, I blamed God but writing this made me realise , he couldn't let you suffer like all of us down here on earth.

But I would have been there for you I would have saved you from these wolves in sheepskin,

I would have fought all your battles all your fights would have been mine....

No one was gonna touch you, I could have done everything for you....

Daddy is not perfect sweetheart but he would have given you a perfect life..... By all means...all mean, at any cost

Tell God I need iNcazelo, am Sure you foresees the future now... Tell your brother I will name him "NCAZELO" for he/She will be an explanation to why you had to go,
Tell him/here am waiting for him eagerly,even if it takes 10 years tell him I will shower him with floods of love...

And please sweetheart ask God to never let daddy go through such pain ever again....tell him that daddy is not as strong as he looks, tell him I can't take it, it lapses me....

Farewell child see you on the other side, but do come and visit when you find time anytime...... Daddy loves you... And I always will

Rest in peace sana Lwami....

09/11/2017

So the feelings that I didn't know still existed in my heart began to take charge and believe my I hated them and loved the way it felt at the same time.

Months went by ngihluleka ukwina lo mtwana and before I know it I was deeply in love with Snentobeko, I then went to battle trying to fight the feelings but with no luck I lost that WAR, so I gave in I was like a love sick puppy once again, after about 4 MONTHS without talking to her I said to myself if I dare see her again am taking her down DARK OR BLUE. And believe destiny was in my favour cause that afternoon, after school it was Friday I bumped in to her and started by just small talk

Me: hi Ntoeh

Her: yebo unjani?

Me: am owk, bengcela nje ukuhambisana nawe, I promise ngeke ngikshele cause sengyazi awungfuni....

She laughed so hard at that and I was like "hallelujah!! Praise the Lord she can laugh"

She laughed again and said

Her: yeah I can laugh, it just that wangdina with the approach owangzela ngayo

Me: Am sorry about all of that it just that I was playing cool and it wasn't my role judging to the look of results

Her: am glad that for the first time we agree on something

Me: I couldn't have said it better myself...

Her: can you tell me about yourself, your true self cause I can see that uyangi act(ela)

Me: where shall I began?

Her: Where it all began.

So I told her the whole story of PALESA MOLOI, and why am like this not that I was making excuses but those were my reason

She felt sorry for me at the same time she fell in love with me...she was the first girl I ever shared my feelings and story with and I guess I kinda helped me 😊😊😀😀 a lot if I might add

Her: Yaz I never dated anyone before,

Me: before what 😃😉 ? (I was smilling like crazy)

Her: before you hau 😄😄 (she was blushing like heck)

Me: ow see we are dating...?

Her: don't push your luck Mr... ☺

Ayt so I was her 1st boyfriend, we loved each other more than Jack & Rose, Romeo & Juliet babengalboni eldlalayo, She was my .

Time went by we fell even more for each other

I know you now think cause I have found I will stop all my awful deeds, but you know how hard it is to kill or bury . Ntoeh didn't know I was smoking I also tried to stop but unfortunately I was In too deep, I had to hide it from her to a point she didn't even suspect a thing

But smoking wasn't my only habbit as in love as I was with I started cheating on her With Nosihle Shezi, who brought out the worst or monster in me, she smoked, drank occasionally though, was also beautiful angkaze ngajola nohlwibi 😝😜😛 .

So with Nosihle I could be the BadBoy which I had to compress when am with Snentobeko....

My heart was with Snentobeko but my mind was partially destructed by Nosihle with her more matured ways as she was 3years older but you couldn't tell the difference between us.

So I was in cross roads as much as I liked how crazy & wild with Nosihle, I couldn't satisfy all her needs . That thought didn't even crossed my mind.

She would come around my house, and we would relax watch movies, smoke w**d, listen to music, kiss and stuff but it never occurred to me that she wanted more that what I was all of that.

So December 25,2012 she came to my house so drunk that We even kissed to the point we were both On and Naked, she really wanted me in her, but I said I had no condoms, that day kwakuthi akangbulale and told me kuthi usebekezele kwanele, and started reminding me of all the days she came her wanting me to satisfy her needs in means of sleeping with her.

The condoms were just an excuse it felt as if uNtoeh wayengbhekile I just couldn't do that to her my love for couldn't allow me to that to her. Nosihle was never the same from that day onwards,so I told her ukuthi I've never had s*x before and am waiting for the right moment, Andile you know what ashlukane, Angsakfuni

And I was like thanks God I also wanted this to end it just that I wasn't brave enough to tell you am already taken I don't know what got over me.

She started crying and left

Nami ngangsemncane bafethu, 🙈🙈🙈🙈 sorini but this is how it all happened and I can't lie about it

06/11/2017

2

So as you would have figured it my sight as to how I view the world had started changing and the year was 2011, I was now a 13year old boy with a sore & sour heart..... So II there I was in the 8th Grade, meeting new pupils, Exploring the new and larger environment of Inanda Newtown Comprehensive High School.... so the marks me and Palesa got last year allocated us to the same school, as I was meeting more people, Palesa became a Prey to more Predators, and she fell into some of their Traps, my heart was teared into pieces that half year....

I had to live with this situation, which now started to give me Bad ideas.... One afternoon I was chatting with my newly met friend his advice to me was "ANDILE YOUR PROBLEM IS YOU ARE TO KIND AND GOOD GIRLS LIKE BADBOYS NOT MAMAS BOYS"

I pretended as if I wasn't listening to him but Lamazwi akhe ayengidla ngaphakathi....

That year was as horror film to me, but I had to go on phela nganginamaphupha amaningi, ayedinga ngbekezele

I pulled through that year but come 2012 everything started collapsing



My cousin Sihle introduced me to Weed/Marijuana..... And it felt soo good... After such a long time I felt in charge of my life it like I Became Street-Wise, I started a disbelief feeling upon love..... I started taking more and giving less, later on My old time friend Lindani introduced me to Ci******es so I was now Smocking Hard...

We called each other so I met an older guy owayesefeyile uGrade 11 kaw4 his name was Dollar he was a badass dude, which reflected on me, I also started to be known around, and I gotta admit I loved that feeling, I smocked day in day out nobody could tell me anything🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊

I also started to date a couple of chicks at school, which I couldn't careLess about any of them....🙅🙅🙅🙅😱. That made me feel at ease

That went on PALESA asked me what was wrong and that she knows the real me, for a moment there I weren't weak but F* it I thought to myself UHLANGABAPHI NALOKO.... Knowing very well ukuthi nginje nginje namhlanje ingenxa yakho that why I always say the year I met her Changed my life forever....

Being a Badboy didn't mean I had no heart, before the year ended I met another girl which looked as innocent as I was in the biggining of all her name was SNENTOBEKO SOKHABASE, I weren't to her like like every other girl that I wanted, but she was not any other girl Wangipakisa kabhlungu kanjan lo mtwana....

That made me to come intact with my feelings and it reminded me that am not a God I will not get everything I want....

Her turning me down made notice her and develop some strange feelings for her