09/11/2017
So the feelings that I didn't know still existed in my heart began to take charge and believe my I hated them and loved the way it felt at the same time.
Months went by ngihluleka ukwina lo mtwana and before I know it I was deeply in love with Snentobeko, I then went to battle trying to fight the feelings but with no luck I lost that WAR, so I gave in I was like a love sick puppy once again, after about 4 MONTHS without talking to her I said to myself if I dare see her again am taking her down DARK OR BLUE. And believe destiny was in my favour cause that afternoon, after school it was Friday I bumped in to her and started by just small talk
Me: hi Ntoeh
Her: yebo unjani?
Me: am owk, bengcela nje ukuhambisana nawe, I promise ngeke ngikshele cause sengyazi awungfuni....
She laughed so hard at that and I was like "hallelujah!! Praise the Lord she can laugh"
She laughed again and said
Her: yeah I can laugh, it just that wangdina with the approach owangzela ngayo
Me: Am sorry about all of that it just that I was playing cool and it wasn't my role judging to the look of results
Her: am glad that for the first time we agree on something
Me: I couldn't have said it better myself...
Her: can you tell me about yourself, your true self cause I can see that uyangi act(ela)
Me: where shall I began?
Her: Where it all began.
So I told her the whole story of PALESA MOLOI, and why am like this not that I was making excuses but those were my reason
She felt sorry for me at the same time she fell in love with me...she was the first girl I ever shared my feelings and story with and I guess I kinda helped me ππππ a lot if I might add
Her: Yaz I never dated anyone before,
Me: before what ππ ? (I was smilling like crazy)
Her: before you hau ππ (she was blushing like heck)
Me: ow see we are dating...?
Her: don't push your luck Mr... βΊ
Ayt so I was her 1st boyfriend, we loved each other more than Jack & Rose, Romeo & Juliet babengalboni eldlalayo, She was my .
Time went by we fell even more for each other
I know you now think cause I have found I will stop all my awful deeds, but you know how hard it is to kill or bury . Ntoeh didn't know I was smoking I also tried to stop but unfortunately I was In too deep, I had to hide it from her to a point she didn't even suspect a thing
But smoking wasn't my only habbit as in love as I was with I started cheating on her With Nosihle Shezi, who brought out the worst or monster in me, she smoked, drank occasionally though, was also beautiful angkaze ngajola nohlwibi πππ .
So with Nosihle I could be the BadBoy which I had to compress when am with Snentobeko....
My heart was with Snentobeko but my mind was partially destructed by Nosihle with her more matured ways as she was 3years older but you couldn't tell the difference between us.
So I was in cross roads as much as I liked how crazy & wild with Nosihle, I couldn't satisfy all her needs . That thought didn't even crossed my mind.
She would come around my house, and we would relax watch movies, smoke w**d, listen to music, kiss and stuff but it never occurred to me that she wanted more that what I was all of that.
So December 25,2012 she came to my house so drunk that We even kissed to the point we were both On and Naked, she really wanted me in her, but I said I had no condoms, that day kwakuthi akangbulale and told me kuthi usebekezele kwanele, and started reminding me of all the days she came her wanting me to satisfy her needs in means of sleeping with her.
The condoms were just an excuse it felt as if uNtoeh wayengbhekile I just couldn't do that to her my love for couldn't allow me to that to her. Nosihle was never the same from that day onwards,so I told her ukuthi I've never had s*x before and am waiting for the right moment, Andile you know what ashlukane, Angsakfuni
And I was like thanks God I also wanted this to end it just that I wasn't brave enough to tell you am already taken I don't know what got over me.
She started crying and left
Nami ngangsemncane bafethu, ππππ sorini but this is how it all happened and I can't lie about it