19/05/2026
Motherf~cker 😯
Turns out we’ve created a monster at Javik Laser Ltd 😬
After noticing that 22 packets of Mini Cheddars had mysteriously vanished from the workshop, we checked the CCTV expecting maybe a mouse…
Nope.
What we appear to have is some sort of industrial-grade super rat.
Absolutely zero fear. Built like a gym sock full of gravel. Moving around the workshop like he pays business rates.
Our current working theory is prolonged exposure to industrial laser radiation and stainless steel dust has accelerated his evolution 🐀⚡
At this point we’re expecting him to demand PPE, ask for a company van, start quoting jobs and probably complain about lead times.
To be fair, if he managed 22 packets of Mini Cheddars in one sitting, he’s showing stronger production output than some suppliers we’ve dealt with.
Video evidence below before anyone thinks we’ve finally lost the plot.
