08/28/2026
⚠️Proceed with caution, this is a lengthy one.⚠️
I have been guided to share a recent experience I had, beyond sending it to a couple handfuls of people. I was resisting then got a nudge from a client and now friend to share it as well. She said that I needed to, “Let them see how you’re a real person too and how you go through things. Let them really feel into that and learn and grow from it as in if she goes through it and it’s OK, I can do it too.” Thank you for the nudge, Robin. And to the beautiful Souls who have already read this, thank you for witnessing my journey with such love and kindness. Here it goes…..
Please take what resonates with you and throw the rest away. Thank you in advance for being a part of and witnessing my journey. đź’ś
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜❤️🧡💛
July 30th, 2026
Rebirth
When I started doing this work “rebirth” was the same as “born again” to me. I’m not sure they still aren’t but what I’ve experienced lately sure doesn’t carry the energy of “born again” for me. “Born again” feels light, joyful, and filled with hope. That’s not what I have felt, especially for the past 48 hours. Reflecting back, I can honestly say I have been filled with anger, frustration, disbelief, hopelessness, darkness, doom and gloom with an healthy serving of “What the actual F%*k?!?” running on a loop inside my head. I found myself questioning my life choices and yesterday it all came to a head.
I don’t know if it had something to do with the planets, Buck Moon, or what but I realized I have been holding my breath and waiting for someone(or ones) to finally be held accountable for the state of the world. For the lies, manipulation, suffering, pain, struggling, and division. Putting profit over people, Mother Earth and her many creatures. This is nothing new and has been going on for way longer than anyone would care to admit. I realized yesterday that it’s never going to happen so I choose to continue focusing on a world where kindness and respect are the foundation through which all is created. I declared that and a few other things to myself and even wrote it down. After that, all hell broke loose inside of me.
My inner bully, who has been rather quiet (for the most part) surged forward like she was launched out of a hole. She started with a whisper, “Who do you think you are that you could create a world like that? You are nothing but a worthless piece of s**t pretending to be something and someone you’re not. You’re a joke. The work you do is a joke and all you do is give people false hope. You are nothing and no one will ever want to build anything with you. I let you do this dance because it gave me a f%*cking break. But now the music has stopped, the dancing is done, and it’s time for me to get you back where you belong. Put down your crystals and incense and come home.”
She just kept repeating it over and over again. Each time getting louder and louder. More aggressive, angry and frustrated. Then finally I lost my s**t. I screamed and cried, speaking all of her words aloud. My heart knew they weren’t true yet I spoke them with a fiery passion. At one point, as I rested after beating the s**t out of my punching bag, I looked in the mirror and screamed, “Fat f%*cking whore!!”
Inside I heard laughter and a voice say, “You must be right on the edge of something big, kid. Keep it coming.” A softness was suddenly felt deep within me. I continued to cry and say the things but they didn’t cut as deep or burn as bad. Jen held me as I cried and later said almost the same words to me.
Last night, as I sat with Jen watching TV, I felt an odd peace, a peace I hadn’t felt before. I didn’t try to dissect it, I just sat in it. Grateful to not feel how I was earlier.
This morning, I woke up with Bob Sima’s song “Holy Green Tree” in my head. I decided to listen to it as I was doing my Tai Chi. He sings “I am a part of you, you are a part of me” and it reminded me that I am a part of something much bigger than this physical body. Then I heard a whisper of the word “rebirth”. Last night, when I was texting with a client, I was guided to tell her she was going through a rebirth so it was already present in my mind. When I thought about it more, it started to make more sense. We talk a lot about being in survival mode and how we don’t even realize we are living in it until we experience something different. Since 2012 I have been working to be more aware of why I do the things I do, believe the things I believe, and react the way I react. That curiosity has allowed me to heal many things which allowed me to create new beliefs, do things differently, and respond instead of react. In order to do this, I have said good-bye to various versions of me that were created for survival. My “Bully” was my greatest protector because she kept me
small minded and big bodied. She kept me from getting “too big” for my britches and my britches “too big” to attract predators. She did a great job for the person I was back then, but I don’t need her to protect me anymore.
Just as a baby squeezes through the birth canal, leaving behind the things that kept her safe during creation, I have moved through that squeezing again. It was painful when I resisted and flowed rather gently when I surrendered. I used to think it was my job to hold the “bully” in my heart with gratitude and appreciation. Today, I know that it is okay to leave her behind as a part of my creation process. It’s okay to love her from afar.
As I looked back over my shoulder, I could see her standing on the edge of the cliff with only a wooden bridge connecting us. I heard another Bob Sima song, “Something’s Gotta Burn”, where he says, “Something’s gotta burn if you want to shine.” With that, I turned, lit a match and burned that freakin’ bridge to the ground. Her work is done and she cannot come where I am going. I will continue to be grateful for all she has done for me and choose to love her from afar. Sometimes, you just need to burn the bridge.
This is something that has been building for many, many months. I have been peeling away at the layers for years to see what needed to be seen at the core. This is a process and a practice that will continue. I did not do this alone. Many people have supported me getting here and don’t even know it. Whether it was through a conversation, session work, a new book, living example, a post on social media, and/or song, I never could have experienced this without all of you Beautiful Souls. I am beyond grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for choosing to journey with me.
Yours in peace, light and love,
Judy
