08/19/2026
“Why didn’t she just leave?”
I have heard this question more times than I can count, and I understand why people ask it.
When you are looking at an abusive relationship from the outside, leaving may seem like the obvious solution. You may think, “If someone treated me that way, I would be gone.”
But abuse is not always that simple.
There may be children involved.
She may not have access to money.
She may have been isolated from her family and friends.
She may have been threatened.
She may have tried to leave before.
She may not have anywhere safe to go.
She may have been told so many times that she is worthless, incapable, or unlovable that she has started to believe it.
And yes…she may still love the person who is hurting her.
Fear, financial control, isolation, trauma, hope, and love can all exist at the same time.
Here is something else we need to understand: leaving does not always mean the danger is over. In some situations, attempting to leave can increase the risk.
Instead of asking, “Why didn’t she leave?” perhaps we need to ask better questions:
“What made it difficult for her to leave?”
“What support does she need?”
“How can I help without judging her or taking control of her decisions?”
This is why conversations about domestic violence matter. When we understand more, we can respond with greater wisdom and compassion.
At The Power of Love Domestic Violence Conference, we are going to talk about the realities people see, the signs they miss, and the things survivors may never feel safe enough to say out loud.
The conversations may not always be easy…but they are necessary.
Join us on September 26, 2026.
Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-power-of-love-domestic-violence-conference-tickets-1985214076744
