Zoe Clews & Associates, 93 Gloucester Place, London (2026)

22/09/2026

Delighted to have spoken with The i paper about the subtle signs your relationship may be drifting towards a divorce doom spiral.
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Most relationships don’t suddenly fall apart, they drift.
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Not through one big moment, but through small, everyday patterns that feel easy to ignore. Conversations that stop happening. Things left unsaid. The same issues repeating, but nothing really changing.
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It can look calm on the surface. Even “normal”. But underneath, something is shifting. And this is more common than people realise.
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You might notice you’re no longer talking about the things that actually matter. Finances, the future, what you both really want. Or that repair never quite happens after conflict. Things get brushed under the carpet, but not resolved. That’s what creates distance.
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Then come the quieter signs. Subtle resentment. Less warmth. Less curiosity about each other. Feeling more triggered, more reactive, or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
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Over time, it’s no longer about reconnecting. It’s about managing the tension and getting through each day. Old attachment patterns get activated. Past experiences begin shaping how you respond, how you interpret, and what you tolerate.
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The most difficult part is how easy it is to normalise. To tell yourself this is just what long-term relationships are like.
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But these patterns don’t fix themselves. They build up.
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And the earlier you recognise them, the more chance you have to change where things are heading.
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Read the full piece via the ‘PRESS’ link in my bio ✨

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21/09/2026

In some families, you grow up learning to tolerate what hurts you.
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You learn an unspoken rule:
When something hurts me, I’m not allowed to act on it.
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You can probably think of moments where you’re still following that rule now… without even realising.
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Because growing up, you could feel it.
The tension. The unpredictability. The sense that something wasn’t right.
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But instead of that being recognised, you were taught to work around it.
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To keep the peace.
To not upset them.
To accept it.
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So over time, you learn to override your own internal signals.
Your gut feeling gets dismissed, explained away, or ignored.
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You minimise what hurts you.
You become highly attuned to other people’s moods.
You lose connection with your own needs, because it feels safer to adapt than to challenge what’s happening.
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From a psychological perspective, this creates a double bind.
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Your nervous system is picking up that something isn’t right,
while your environment is telling you that noticing it is the problem.
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So both things exist at once:
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This doesn’t feel okay.
But I’m not allowed to do anything about it.
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And that pattern doesn’t stay in childhood.
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It shows up later in relationships.
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You know something doesn’t feel right, but you stay.
You explain it away.
You turn it back on yourself.
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Not because you don’t see it,
but because leaving, setting boundaries, or choosing yourself has been conditioned to feel wrong.
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As a trauma specialist, I see this often.
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It’s not a lack of awareness.
It’s a lack of permission.
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Permission to trust what you feel.
Permission to respond to it.
Permission to choose differently.
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And this is where healing gets uncomfortable.
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Because it’s not just about recognising what hurt you.
It’s about accepting that you’re allowed to move away from it.
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You don’t need agreement.
You don’t need it to get worse.
You don’t need to prove anything.
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You just need to recognise that what was learned in one environment can be unlearned in another.
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17/09/2026

A brilliant day yesterday filming with Christianne van Wijk for Ickonic for an upcoming film.

Some questions are worth asking precisely because the answers might make you uncomfortable.

A few behind-the-scenes moments from the day.

I can’t say much more than that for now.

Coming very soon... 🎥

17/09/2026

People talk about “inner child healing” all the time… but what does it actually mean in practice?

It’s not about visualising a younger version of yourself or repeating affirmations.

It’s about how you speak to yourself and show up for yourself in real moments, especially when you’re struggling.

Because those younger parts of you are still there.

The part that felt rejected.
Unseen.
Criticised.
Not good enough.

And those parts don’t need to be dismissed or told to “move on.”

They need a different experience.

They need you to become the voice that says:

“I’ve got you.”
“You’re safe with me.”
“I believe you.”
“Your feelings make sense.”
“You don’t have to earn love here.”

And this is where the shift happens.

You stop constantly looking outside yourself for reassurance.
You start protecting your energy.
You set boundaries.
You keep promises to yourself.

You become the person who notices when you’re overwhelmed… and stays.

The one who listens when you’re hurt.
Who says no when something doesn’t feel right.
Who reassures you when you’re scared.

That’s what “taking full custody” really means.

Not getting rid of those younger parts…
but showing them they’re finally safe.

And when they feel safe, they don’t have to keep taking over.

They don’t have to react so strongly.
They don’t have to fight so hard to be seen or wanted.

Because they’re no longer waiting for someone else to meet those needs.

You learn to meet them yourself.

This is educational content, not therapy. Please seek professional support if you need it.

16/09/2026

Such a brilliant two days at Ideas Fest 2026.

I had the pleasure of guiding a live hypnosis session for a room full of founders, creatives and curious minds, focusing on imposter syndrome, resilience and resetting the nervous system.

I am incredibly grateful to have been part of it and genuinely moved by the openness in the room, as well as the kind messages and conversations afterwards.

A big thank you to the team Ideas Fest for bringing it all together.

16/09/2026

Such a brilliant two days at Ideas Fest 2026 ✨

I had the pleasure of guiding a live hypnosis session for a room full of founders, creatives and curious minds, focusing on imposter syndrome, resilience and resetting the nervous system.

I am incredibly grateful to have been a part of it and genuinely moved by the openness in the room as well as the kind messages and conversations afterwards.

A big thank you to the team Ideas Fest
For bringing it all together.

15/09/2026

I spoke with Psychologies Magazine about something people often miss after a breakup…

Sometimes the biggest red flags don’t show up while you’re in the relationship.
They show up in how it ends, and more importantly, how it leaves you.

If you’ve come out of it feeling like you’ve lost yourself, stuck in your head, replaying everything and blaming yourself for how it ended… pay attention to that.

That doesn’t come from nowhere.

You’re analysing every detail.
What you said. What you did. What you could have done differently.

Flipping through an endless historical inner rolodex to find the exact moment you “ruined it”.

And at the same time, you’re still holding onto who they were at the beginning.

That version is what keeps you hooked.

As a trauma specialist, I see this all the time.
The relationship ends, but the impact doesn’t.

Confidence drops.
Self-trust goes.
You feel anxious, unsettled, not quite yourself.

And you’re left trying to make sense of something that never added up in the first place.

What you saw at the start wasn’t the full picture.
It was the advert.
If you’re left confused, doubting yourself, and feeling smaller than you did before, it’s worth paying attention to what the relationship has done to you.

The ending can reveal the impact more clearly than the relationship itself ever did. Maybe they didn't change, you just got to know them.

Click here to read the full article: https://vist.ly/5igyk

14/09/2026

Toxic shame is NOT the same as healthy shame.
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Healthy shame has a function. It helps you recognise when you’ve crossed a line, and take accountability.
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Toxic shame does something very different.
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It doesn’t say, “I did something wrong.”
It says, “There’s something wrong with me.”
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And that difference can be detrimental.
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Because this isn’t about behaviour anymore.
It becomes about your identity, who you are as a person.
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Toxic shame often develops when your emotional needs weren’t consistently met as a child… or when having needs at all was made to feel unacceptable.
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You needed comfort, and were made to feel needy.
You needed attention, and were made to feel demanding.
You needed reassurance, and were told you were too sensitive.
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So you adapted.
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You disconnected from those needs.
And you started becoming who you think you need to be to feel accepted.
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You perform.
You achieve.
You people-please.
You over-function.
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Not because that’s who you are…
but because it protects you from the feeling that you’re not enough.
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That’s what we call the false self.
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And if you carry toxic shame into adulthood, the work isn’t simply to “stop feeling ashamed.”
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It’s to understand where that belief came from.
To recognise the needs that were never met.
And to begin separating yourself from the version of you that was mostly built to cope.
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Because healthy shame helps regulate behaviour.
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Toxic shame makes you believe your very existence needs changing.
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And those are two very different things.
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This is educational content, not therapy. Please seek professional support if you need it.
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11/09/2026

“The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club.”
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Dysfunctional families have rules like this too. The difference is, nobody ever says them out loud.
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You learn them through experience.
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The argument happens. Something hurtful is said. Lines are crossed. And the next day… nothing. No acknowledgement. No repair. Just carry on as if it never happened.
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And that teaches you something powerful:
Don’t talk about it.
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Over time, that rule expands.
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Don’t upset people.
Don’t have needs.
Don’t challenge what’s happening.
Don’t make anyone uncomfortable.
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Eventually, you don’t need anyone to silence you. You do it yourself.
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You become highly attuned to everyone else… and increasingly disconnected from yourself.
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And the hardest part?
You may not even realise you’re still living by those rules.
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Because they were never spoken.
Your body learned them.
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But what protected you then doesn’t have to define you now.
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Healing often begins with recognising the unspoken rule…
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…and noticing where it’s still dictating your behaviour, and gradually choosing differently.
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This is educational content, not therapy. Please seek professional support if you need it.
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10/09/2026

“The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club.”

Dysfunctional families have rules like this too. The difference is, nobody ever says them out loud.

You learn them through experience.

The argument happens. Something hurtful is said. Lines are crossed. And the next day… nothing. No acknowledgement. No repair. Just carry on as if it never happened.

And that teaches you something powerful:
Don’t talk about it.

Over time, that rule expands.

Don’t upset people.
Don’t have needs.
Don’t challenge what’s happening.
Don’t make anyone uncomfortable.

Eventually, you don’t need anyone to silence you. You do it yourself.

You become highly attuned to everyone else… and increasingly disconnected from yourself.

And the hardest part?
You may not even realise you’re still living by those rules.

Because they were never spoken.
Your body learned them.

But what protected you then doesn’t have to define you now.

Healing often begins with recognising the unspoken rule…

…and noticing where it’s still dictating your behaviour, and gradually choosing differently.

This is educational content, not therapy. Please seek professional support if you need it.

Zoe Clews & Associates

22/09/2026

21/09/2026

17/09/2026

17/09/2026

16/09/2026

16/09/2026

15/09/2026

14/09/2026

11/09/2026

10/09/2026

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