08/13/2026
I used to think being strong meant regulating myself alone.
I got very good at it. I could talk myself down from almost anything, by myself, in a parking lot, and then walk back in like nothing happened.
What I did not understand is that self-soothing and co-regulation are not the same skill, and being excellent at the first one can keep you from ever learning the second.
You can be the most self-contained person in the room and still have no idea how to let someone else help you regulate.
Or how to help someone else regulate.
That distinction is really important in relationships and parenting.
Nicole is running a co-regulation workshop on this in NYC on August 23.